Some Jokes For You

Need a break in your hectic week? Here are some corny jokes that you can share with your family! Have a laugh and feel better – you’re halfway through the week!!!

Q. What do you call a fly that has no wings?
A. A walk.

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Q. How does a Rancher count his cattle?
A. With a cowculator.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a skunk with a boomerang?
A. A smell you can’t get rid of.

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Q. Which side of a dog has the most hair?
A. The outside.

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Q. Why don’t turkeys get invited to dinner parties?
A. Because they use fowl language.

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Q. What animal drops from the clouds?
A. Raindeer.

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Q. What has four legs and goes “Boo”?
A. A cow with a cold.

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Q. What do you call fourteen rabbits hopping backwards?
A. A Receding Hareline.

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Q. What do you call a baby whale?
A. A little squirt.

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Q. What’s a Ducks favorite T.V. show?
A. The Feather Forecast.

Q. What do you get if you cross an Owl and a Skunk?
A. A bird that stinks, but doesn’t give a hoot.
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Q. What do you call a flock of ducks playing hide-and-seek?
A. Fowl Play.

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Q. How can you tell if a snake is a baby’s?
A. It has a rattle.

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Q. What do frogs do with paper?
A. “Rip-it.”

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Q. What lies on the ground, 100 feet up in the air?
A. A sleeping centipede.

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Q. Which birds steal soap from the bath?
A. Robber Duckies.

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Q. What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A. A Croaker Spaniel.

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Q. What fish swims at 100mph?
A. A Motor Pike.

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Q. What does an eagle like to write with?
A. A Bald-point pen.

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Q. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A. Bamboo.

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Q. What did the Queen Bee say to the nosy neighbor?
A. “Hey, mind your own bees’ nest!”

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Q. Why is “H” the funnest letter?
A. Because it’s at the start of every Holiday.

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Q. Why did the traffic light turn red?
A. It was embarrassed to have to change in front of everyone.

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Q. What kind of Mexican food can give you frostbite?
A. A Burrr-ito!

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Q. Do you file your nails?
A. No, I throw them away.

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Q. What’s the difference between a butcher and an insomniac?
A. One weighs a steak and the other stays awake.

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Q. Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?
A. He wanted to see a butterfly.

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Q. What do you call a Hippie’s wife?
A. Mississippi.

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Q. What’s the difference between Roast Beef and Pea Soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.

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Q. What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine?
A. It wooden go.

Q. What’s bright orange and sounds like a parrot?
A. A Carrot.

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Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. He only had one Pupil.

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Q. What’s Black and White and Red all over.
A. A Newspaper! (or a penguin with a sunburn, or a zebra with a rash . . .)
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Q. Who can tell someone where to ‘get off’ and get away with it?
A. A Bus Driver.

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Q. What do you get if you cross a bag of chips and a lawnmower?
A. Shredded Treat.

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Q. What is worse than seeing a sharks fin?
A. Seeing the sharks tonsils.

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Q. What do Trees wear when they go the the pool?
A. Swimming Trunks.

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Q. How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but she changes it into a toad.

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